Kathleen Westcott and Kristina Amelong have decided to share their healing journey in hopes that others may find their own healing. Of course, you know Kristina. To learn more about Kathleen, read her biography.
By Kathleen Westcott
Kristina and I met in a break-out group with the Thomas
Hubel Transparent Communication teleconference series in February of 2014.
There were meant to be three to four participants in these discussion groups;
it turned out to be just the two of us. Our connection and resonance was
immediate. We quickly stated our goals, reviewed our trauma history and
proceeded to discover that we were a match in regard to listening and being
heard by one another. Since that initial meeting, I have deepened my capacity
to trust myself and others and my personal sense of self-regard has become
effortlessly ferocious. I attribute this to the fact that in our exchanges,
Kristina simply does not ever engage in interpreting, interrupting, analyzing,
advising, correcting, or labeling. Kristina celebrates, with much aplomb, my
own language and courage in speaking the truth! We have truly created a sanctuary space for
one another in which we are held and respected; we do not violate or abandon
each other in our conversations. The opportunity for taking risk, revealing
myself and actually hearing myself, while listening deeply and while being
listened to, feels unlimited.
This is the foundation that we established on the phone.
Then just two weeks ago, we came together in person. Kristina traveled the
distance from her home in
Madison,
Wisconsin to my home in the Arrowhead
Region of Minnesota, the Boreal Forest. Kristina arrived Friday evening for dinner
and departed Monday late morning for home. She drove eight hours each way!
Kristina
resided in our tiny camper. In our kitchen, she unpacked an explosion of the
healthiest food on the planet: fresh vegetables, kombucha, bacon, fresh
blueberries, to which we added venison, more bacon, wild rice, frozen
blueberries and raspberries, and much more! We were gluten-free, sugar-free,
dairy-free with low carbs, and the best protein, for the whole of her visit.
Reading
to each other, going for walks, preparing beautiful meals - this was our foundation,
the container that held the movement of the Kind-Hearted Great Mystery as she
moved through us, revealing herself through every manner of feeling, sensation,
play of plant, light, water as rain, mist, and wild rushing river falls, color,
smell AND technology! Not to mention the presence of my beloved grandson on all
but one of the days.
Now I must tell you something, describe something to you,
that is to me wondrous and blessed and the answer to a long-held
question/inquiry for myself. Kristina and I go for a walk on her last morning
here. It is an ordinary walk; we do not have a plan, an intention, a focus. We
nearly return to the house, walking over a small railroad tie bridge that spans
a trickle of a creek where the brush of red willow, high bush cranberry and
alder hang dense and low to the water,
creating a thin, cool surface just above the creek, where the light filtering
through is dappled - as when light filters through a lace curtain. Quite
suddenly Kristina becomes
aware of an insect that she sees clearly, and I am barely able to see.
"Have you ever seen this one? Look how delicate, how
beautiful!"
She is drawn by this insect to leaves which are about shoulder-high, then
leaves near her knees, then at the level of the bridge.
Now she is on her knees, hanging over the
bridge, her upper body suspended right there on the cool, light-filtered surface
of the water as its slow trickle moves around large stones partially covered
with moss.
"Look, there are so many! One, two, three, four, five, six..."
I walk away now, saying, "...seven, eight, nine..." in my head and
reflecting on the pristine quality of that cool, light-filtered surface, on that first delicate bug almost not visible except when its many feet touch the water and
create shadow. And, I notice the intimacy of the insects' conversation with Kristina.
This is between her and them. I am sure of this.
I want to call her dog to come with me, to leave them be - dogs
are not allowed in ceremony spaces. I want to ask her not to take out her
camera. Yet, I surrender these thoughts, knowing that to do so could disrupt
Kristina's attention/awareness and possibly snap her into her logical mind.
"Why?" About 20 feet closer to home, Kristina's little dog joins me! We walk
home together. I just can't wait to hear her report when she returns from the
creek and the insects.
In the days that follow, after Kristina makes that long
drive back to her home, what happened at the creek begins to reveal itself to
me. She e-mails to say that on a walk in a park the next day she discovers that
her perception of the trees and plants has shifted - it is not as she has ever
experienced them. I attribute this to the bug people and to those moments of
her being suspended above the water in a manner similar to how the bug people
live there. Then it begins to sink in. So obvious, yet not so obvious.
For an entire lifetime, it has been a mystery to me. Why is
it that my grandfather decided to "work" with me and not his other
grandchildren? (There were many.) Why did he tell me those stories, take me
into the woods, teach me to listen to other life forms - plants, rocks, water,
animals, birds? Why did he celebrate the most simple interests and curiosities
that I had, value my dreams, listen deeply to my child chatter while I made mud
pies and turned sticks and stones into full-blown creatures of nature? Here in
those moments with Kristina, I witnessed the natural world CHOOSE her, call out
to her. And I witnessed Kristina HEAR them, the bug people. She heard them. Not
for one moment did she doubt what she heard. She moved toward them, dropped
into her inherently innocent nature, joined them in their innocence, their wisdom,
their uninhibited capacity to be fully who they are - suspended beauty, fully present.
This is one of the most endearing moments I have witnessed: creatures bathed in love, bathed in mutual regard, Kristina's acknowledgement of kinship,
her acceptance, her trust of the unknown, her no-fear response, no hesitation; she moved with instant willingness and intuition to drop the activity of
the mind and follow, join, merge.
So, you see, there is this profound gift of witnessing
Kristina engaged with a spirit being, soul to soul, essential nature to
essential nature. There is also the gift of realizing that this is likely what
informed my grandfather, leading to his "working" with me. Most likely he
witnessed my own porous nature, my capacity to receive, to be imprinted by the
mystery as it is embodied in the natural world, to listen, to trust, to follow.
The unconditional opening of my heart toward Kristina, of
her heart opening to the natural world through this delicate insect timelessly
revealed the unconditional opening of my grandfather's heart to me at a time
when I could not have felt more unworthy, more unlovable, isolated, fragmented;
yet, precisely that timing and those circumstances rendered me accessible.
And here, in this delicate insect, is a power propelling
itself to spin, silently and continuously whirling, wings colliding into one
another yet never altering the flow of its flight. Catching Kristina's awareness of these insects, with their unfathomable silence combined with the living power of their wings
then gathering, resting on water and rock, to appear as ordinary mosquitoes when
not in flight. This subtle, aerodynamic vitality reaches into and catches
Kristina's awareness, accessing her in her vulnerable emotional unraveling.
Surely this must be how it works, with masterful dexterity: the Kind-Hearted Great Mystery embodied in the natural world finds us through
the openings created in our vulnerability, our woundedness. The magnetism of
LOVE, the central principle of natural law, finds us.
On rare occasions, we are witnessed by another human, being
found!
Labels: healing, nature, spirituality
